Sunday, 20 July 2014

The mystery of the disappearing Cuprinol

I'll admit it sounds like the most boring chapter in the Harry Potter series or perhaps an adventure that Sherlock Holmes and even Scooby Doo willingly passed on.

But the combination of 'home' life and steadfastly fixing my age at 30 finds you suddenly caring about the oddest things.

Those of us that remember the way things were remember when crisp packets held more and Wagon Wheels were bigger, and in a similar entry of world weary dissatisfactions I have now found that cuprinol seems to disappear.

(Anyone uninterested in D.I.Y based rants/observations may want to find something more thrilling to do with their lives right. about.   now.)

Certainly, the tin looks full upon opening, but as you progress trying to preserve your decking, behold, that it disappears before your very eyes.

I'm currently on my 2nd (new) tin this summer, having found the first was empty after only coating the decking 1 and a half times...

The old tin I just finished, it managed the decking twice over and then some, a few additional coats plus yearly applications to the garden furniture and a few touch ups here and there that saw the first tin last around 3 years.

And now, with the newest tin opened I want to cry thinking how much I have just paid for it and finding that it doesn't want to go very far.

Friday, 11 July 2014

'When I Was Young'

A rather recent concern of mine is something that is new to me.

As someone that has felt that in my day to day life I have seen what there is to see and had my fair share of experiences, this new feeling is troubling to me on so many levels.

Because I love music, and I listen to a lot of music, but since I turned thirty (for only the second time) just over a week ago I have felt a whole new sensation that leaves me cold.

Older music used to remind me of when I was younger.

suddenly, old music reminds me of when I was young.

yes, the difference in the written form (or even the spoken form if you aren't capable of silent reading) is only slight, but the ramifications for me are overwhelming.

I hear Stardust's Music Sounds Better With You, I hear Usher's You Make Me Wanna, I hear Sixpence None The Richer's Kiss Me (to name just three examples off the top of my head that I have heard today alone) and I think of other times, and other places, and this is nothing new, but now I think of someone else.

I don't know what happened, perhaps making the conscience decision from now on to lie about my age has triggered a wholly unexpected alternate past.

But suddenly, the person I am now feels almost completely disconnected from the person that I used to be...  It used to be a thread that ran from then until now, but now I feel that I am on the other side of the glass, looking back at what once was.

Not only that, but previously, I felt that everything that happened to me was leading me somewhere.  Now I am somewhere, rather lost with no clue where I am going still, but all of that time that has passed, I don't know where it has been...

So, this isn't ageing I don't think.  I think I am aged.

My life is still going somewhere, but the youth that trailed me is barely even in my orbit.

I'm still too young to feel old (I hope), but something changed.  and I don't think it could ever change back to the way it was.

I guess I can't be the first person to feel it, but as a person it is the first time I have felt it for myself.


what happens next? 


Thursday, 10 July 2014

a lengthy absence.

Oh.  Wow.

Over 6 months have passed.

More than half a year.

In real life, that is a long time.

In blogging life, that is a phenomenally long time.  So much so that I thought I would never come back.  When it's been that long is there really any point? Any momentum, any sort of pace or direction or forward motion has planted itself solidly in the ground.

Regardless, I've always written purely because I love writing, when I get the bug for it it's like an itch that I just have to scratch.  I need to find more time to scratch my itch.

Back when I was on more regular blogging duty, a couple of weeks felt like a long time and I would feel the need to apologise for such rubbishness.  and the I vowed to stop apologising for such rubbishness because it was turning into a whole load of apologising for such rubbishness, but right now is an exception.

Cos I've been rubbish.

At times, life has been rubbish.  Personal circumstances have been spectacularly rubbish at the worst of times, and sometimes not even that great at the best of times.  Life was changing, my job changed, since January I've found myself stuck behind a desk, one place I never thought I'd actually end up, all of these things, the time constraints, the constraints of having too much time to think while you mindlessly process data-entry yet never find time to act upon your 'real' thoughts, they have affected me.

When people say that they 'weren't in a very good place', I think I've been there now, it's true, it's not very good, don't bother going there, don't even pass through, there is nothing to see there.

It hasn't been completely fruitless, reviews and articles and mixtapes have cropped up in a few places, but for a long time it's been hard to feel like myself... I think I may be finding my way back there slowly.

in just this week alone I've managed to knock out a couple of reviews, as well as getting slightly more creative/constructive things done around the house/garden, and I thought a new entry for the blog should be next in line.

And there it is I guess, nothing too special.  But it is just me, writing again. and it feels better than it has for a long time.

Sunday, 8 December 2013

a big deal for small businesses?

After all the excitement of Cyber Monday, when amazon and the likes were filling their coffers as millions of people elected to spread christmas cheer via CDs, DVDs and books, the smaller businesses of the world didn't want to be outdone and miss out on all the action.

and by action, I mean money.

What better way to raise awareness and profits, than by arranging a 'day', in particular 'small business saturday', which was yesterday, which you may or may not have spotted posters for around your town. The aim, to to divert some attention to your local traders and small businesses.

and who is behind this super-duper-fantastic idea?

oh, it's American Express.

the one credit card that small businesses, and quite often larger businesses do not accept, since the charges to the retailer per transaction are higher than that of your other credit and debit cards.

so go ahead and support your local business, just don't expect them to be able to take payment if you're waving that AmEx about...

Monday, 2 December 2013

The return of cyber Monday, heralding the return of cynical christmas download

Waking up yet again to the 'news' that today is Cyber Monday reminded me...

I still have my christmas single that I like to trot out each year in the hope of spreading a little christmas joy to all the girls and boys that are writing out their lists for Santa

Bah Humbug

'tis a lie, as much of a lie as the newspapers and media force feeding you this Cyber Monday baloney...

when they 'report' on this being the busiest shopping day online pre-xmas, all they are really doing is fanning the flames for Internet based vendors who somehow managed to convince journalists and the like that reminding people to 'get there arse in gear and get onto amazon pronto to spend some of your hard earned' is actually a valid news item... it is not, it is simply another cog in the wheel of commerce

and when I say that my christmas single is hear to spread joy, what I really mean is that you should really check out my cynical bleatings about the shallow commerciality of this joyous time of year, whilst an unrelenting electronic beat grumbles and pulses with all the christmas spirit of landing arse first in a bushel of holly...

wow, glad I got that out my system...

and relax, I'm not that grumpy about the whole thing really, but I will call a spade a spade, and I will offer you this festive gift once again as an alternative to the usual standards from Noddy Holder and Mary Carey... Hunchbakk -

Sunday, 1 December 2013

door number 1

I've been off my blog-game, that much is clear, but that doesn't mean I've been slacking

in fact I've been trying to build up my empire slowly over at Desperately Seeking Susan Boyle, working hard on mixtapes and making connections, tweeting, pushing and cross-pollinating

it's been a strange journey, I started the seeking subo blog when I noticed that I was devoting a lot of blog space to music over here, and I reasoned that people looking to get a fix of a music blog may not be quite as appreciative of some of the other random crap that mixes in along with the music talk over here, whether it be my own music (kinda the reason I sorta set this blog up originally), my poetry, my thoughts, or just anything else that I felt the need to throw in with the rest of it

of course, since choosing to devote a blog to the music of others I then found myself blogging less about the music of others, I now seem to have come back around on myself and am blogging more over at seeking subo than I am over here...

and the one thing I tell myself that I probly shouldn't blog about is my own lack of blogging, frankly I feel that it must make a terrible read, but dammit, I'm human and things get in the way of other things, and if I didn't admit to this and instead gave of an air of the infallible then I doubt I would be very much like myself at all

all of which is a rather long winded way of saying that in recognition of the usual practises of blogmas and adventness I thought I should blog just a little bit more this month, don't be daft and expect a blog every day... I wouldn't want to disappoint you, but maybe if I can tap tap tap away for a bundle of minutes on a number of evenings this month and share my brainwaves, then perhaps that would be a good thing for me to get my creative juices going again (not guaranteeing that this is a good thing for anyone else tho....)

so... one post down!

Wednesday, 20 November 2013

awake right now

home by half ten.

quick cup of tea, sort my lunch for tomorrow and be in bed by 11.

probably read a little bit more of the Huntress graphic novel that I am reading, lights off by half 11, asleep by 12 and wake up refreshed and ready to face the day tomorrow morning.

ah, the best laid plans of mice and men...

of course, it is now knocking on for one o'clock and the farthest thing from my mind is sleep.

instead, as I sat with my cup of tea, waiting for bedtime, my girlfriend showed me an idea she'd spotted on pinterest that I could use for the nest of tables that I acquired from a charity shop.

it wasn't quite what I had in mind, but it was close, so I decided to waste a few moments looking for other ideas similar, and then for how to make shelves out of pallets, and then looking at bookshelves under beds, and then more shelving ideas, and then sofa tables

and then I started looking for oddities and little pieces of furniture on eBay, and then I started looking at bigger pieces of furniture on eBay 

and then I pondered my possible future in interior design and then found that nobody was requiring my skills as an interior designer on gumtree so I instead decided to google interior design blogs, cos I could have my own interior design blog couldn't I, and then people would want me to design their interiors

and I forget how creative I have already been around the house, but I don't know how much of my house I want to share, my house is mine, for me, to share with my girlfriend and share with guests and have them marvel at my unique touchs, not to have a billion other people tuning in and copying what I'm doing

I'm me, so just let me be me and you can be you

I then think maybe my mums front room could do with an overhaul, that would be a great project, except there's too much crap in there which I probly wouldn't be able to get rid of, but I also wanna start making shelves for the attic to house all my CDs and books

and I also think of my music blog, and my mixtapes and the reviews I need to post, and the charity shops I could trawl and I could dream of quitting my job and doing all I want to do as my own full time job until it starts working and earning money except we couldn't survive for that long on just one income 

and I think about blogging, and this, my own personal blog that has become rather sparse as my mind and my time and my efforts have been elsewhere and the longer I'd left it so far, the longer I would continue to do so

so I had to get up, turn on the light, grab the gizmo and type

I should really be asleep tho